One Month Since Surgery

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Well, it's been a month since I had my foot amputated, actually almost to the time, too. As i think back on the last month, a few things come to mind...

1- Some things have been harder than I thought, some things not as hard, I guess it's almost evened out in terms of how hard things are. Some things that I hadn't really put much thought into, because I thought they'd be pretty easy, are harder tha I expected, like getting into and out of the car, that's the place I think I've come the closest to falling. But one thing that I thought would be harder would be the want to use my right foot. sure, I've tried to put it down on the floor once or twice, but I thought I'd be trying to use it to balance myself a lot.

2- I've been able to see even better, how god's been providing for me. One of the thigs that was really worrying me as October got closer was how I'd be able to pay my bills, I've spent the last year making sure I was caught up, and even ahead, on my bills, and I know that October was the last month I'd be able to rely on my savings to get me though. But God provided (!) when I was in the hospital, I received a letter from Social Security telling me my Supplemental Security Income was approved. That, combined with what my monthly supporters have continued to send, just about exactly covers my monthly bills.

3- Even though it stinks that I have to go through this, I've been able to see how things have worked out to make it easier. I'm not diabetic so things are healing better than anticipated, physical therapists are very happy with how my leg is shaping up, I even had one tell me the other day that I was in great shape, I'm sure she meant my leg. (It's the only time I can remember someone telling me I was in good shape!) And I've told a few people that if this was going to happen anyway, and from what I've learned about my situation it probably would have, I'd rather have it happen now, while I'm in my thirties, than when I'm in my sixties or even older.

4- I said before the surgery that if giving up my right foot is what it takes for me to have a deeper relationship with Christ, I'm ok with that...and I still mean that. My relationship with Christ has deepened so much over the last month, it's been amazing. I'm closer to God, I feel the fruit of the Spirit more in my life and my quiet time has become a time I look forward to, not just something I feel I have to do.

I'm so thankful that I made the decision that I made months ago; that no matter what happened, God would be glorified in this. That has been key in keeping perspective in all of this. While I don't believe God caused this to happen (see James 1:17) I do believe God allowed it to happen. If God is Omniscient (He can see all) and Omnipresent (He is everywhere) and Omnipotent (He is all-powerful) then nothing can happen without Him allowing it to happen, that's God's permissive will. So, if I believe God allowed this to happen, I have to believe it will work out to my ultimate benefit, because of what Romans 8:28 says; "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"