Yet I am Always With You (The Day Before Surgery)

I wrote this the day before my surgery...

Yet I am always with you;
    you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

(Psalm 73:23-26)

I’m not sure what to write here. Before I go any further I need to make it clear I expect to make it through surgery tomorrow just fine and recover well. But since there’s always the possibility that something might go wrong, I feel as though I should write this.

I don’t know, maybe I’m worried because my dad went into the hospital for surgery last year and never came out. But here’s the thing…I don’t feel worried. I am confident that my God will take care of me. I am confident that even if the “worst” should happen and I don’t make it through, I will still be taken care of and so will my loved ones.

Notice I put “worst” in quotes…I believe that even death is not the worst thing that could happen. I believe, like the apostle Paul, that: “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” But I am confident that I will continue living and be able to rejoice in being cancer free.

I don’t know if people think I’m naive for feeling like I do, or that I am foolish for trusting God like I do, but I don’t care. God is my savior and in him I will trust.

I made it through fine, as expected. Actually a bit better than expected. I feel better than I thought I would, the incision, though bigger than I thought it was going to be, doesn't hurt nearly as much as I thought it would. I can't drive as of yet, but I am hopeful that I'll be given the go-ahead to drive at my follow-up appointment on Wednesday. I probably won't post any pictures until the staples come out as it looks kind of Frankenstein-ey.